Teen Dating Violence

Dating violence can affect anyone. Forms of abuse or violence in relationships does not just happen to adults. In fact, over 45% of teens over 15 have reported experiencing dating violence. Healthy relationships should be based off of equality and respect, not control and power. In a healthy relationship, you are not afraid of your partner, and they are not a threat to you. You feel safe, supported, happy, and excited to be around each other. Remember, love is respect. And you deserve that. Don’t settle for anything else.

According to Statistics Canada:

  • 45% of teens experienced dating violence since turning age 15; with 45% of those teens self-reporting experiences of emotional abuse, and 10% reporting experiences of physical violence by a dating partner.
  • In 2022, the rate of police-reported dating violence was about 9x higher for teenage girls than boys.
  • Sexual teen dating violence disproportionately impacts girls (116 versus 5 for boys), as is the case more generally with all forms of sexual violence. 7% of teen girls had experienced sexual abuse by a dating partner.
  • Young women aged 15-24 were five times more likely than women aged 25 years and older to have been sexually assaulted, three times more likely to have been physically assaulted, and almost three times more likely to have been emotionally, financially or psychologically abused by an intimate partner.
  • Young women aged 15-24 are 5x more likely that women aged 25 years and older to have been physically or sexually assaulted by a non-intimate partner.
  • Overall rate of police-reported teen dating violence against teens was 2x as high in rural versus urban areas (478 vs. 241 per 100,000 population), driven largely by violence recorded by police in the rural North (1,154 per 100,000 population).
  • 19% of teens aged 15-17 experienced some form of unwanted behaviour while online; which was reported by 24% of girls and 15% of boys.
  • Some research has shown that similar proportions of teenage boys and girls reported experiencing (non-sexual) dating violence. However, the frequency and severity of violence is often greater for girls.

If you are experiencing violence in your relationship, Nova Vita is here to help. Our Crisis and Support Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To connect with a crisis counsellor:
Call/Text 519-752-4357
Online Chat Service click here

Relationship Spectrum

All relationships fall on a spectrum from healthy to unhealthy to abusive. Sometimes it can be difficult to determine but it’s important to understand the signs of each so that you can make the best decision for yourself. Whether that means working with your partner to make your relationship healthier or ending the relationship. Below are a few signs for each type of relationship.

Sourced from loveisrespect.org

For more examples what makes a healthy relationship, visit:

If you’ve scored 8-10, Congratulations on having such a high healthy relationship IQ!

Less than 8? Maybe it’s time for some honest talk with your partner about the times in your relationship that you feel restricted or controlled or unable to be yourself.

Less than 5? You deserve better. Take the quiz below to see if you relationship is good for you. There are some people you can talk to if you need help figuring out what to do about the relationship you are in.

Is My Relationship Good For Me?

Scoring for each statement: Always, Sometimes, Never.

  1. I feel pressured to do things sexually even though I have said no.
  2. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells to make sure my partner doesn’t get mad.
  3. My partner doesn’t like it when I want to spend time with my friends or family.
  4. My partner is often suspicious or jealous without reason.
  5. My partner constantly puts me down, or criticizes my friends, my clothes, my ideas, my beliefs.
  6. My partner has hurt me and then said it was my fault.
  7. There are things I’d like to get off my chest, but I’m afraid of his/her anger.
  8. Our relationship is fine – except when alcohol or drugs are involved.
  9. I’ve learned that I’d better not disagree or there’ll be trouble.
  10. I want to break up, but I’m afraid things might get worse.
  11. My partner bullies me into saying yes (alcohol, drugs, sex).
  12. He/she “messages” me constantly, even when I ask him/her to stop.
  13. I’m ignoring his/her behaviour because I don’t want to be single.

If you answered “Always” or “Sometimes” to any of these, think about this: relationships are for feeling respected, trusted and supported, not put down, humiliated or controlled. You should always feel okay about being yourself.

If you need to talk, or have questions, Nova Vita is always here to listen. Contact our 24hr Crisis & Support line at 519-752-HELP (call/text) or via our online chat service.

How to Help A Friend in an Abusive Relationship

If you are a friend of someone involved in an abusive or violent relationship, it can be hard to know what to say or do. If you see things in your friend’s relationship that worry you, try talking to your friend about it. Ask open-ended questions like:

  • “I notice that you seem afraid (or sad) around your boyfriend/girlfriend. Can you tell me about your relationship?”
  • “I see that your boyfriend/girlfriend is texting you constantly. Is everything ok?”
  • “I notice your boyfriend/girlfriend seems extremely jealous. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
  • “I know that you broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend but they won’t leave you alone. Can you tell me what’s happening?”
  • “I noticed that your injured, did someone do that to you?”

Once they open up about any abuse they have experienced, this B.L.O.S.S.O.M. acronym can help you to support them, especially if they’re not quite ready to leave.

BELIEVE: Believe your friend and their experience. Believe their feelings and that they might be afraid. Believe that there may be a reason they can’t leave the relationship. Don’t blame them for the abuse.

LISTEN: Listen to your friend’s story. You may be the first or only person they’ve told. Reduce distractions by finding a private place to speak or put away your phone, and don’t jump in with your thoughts or opinions before they are done. Listen without judgement.

OPTIONS: Ask what options your friend has tried so far. Suggest a trusted adult for them to talk to (school counsellor, teacher, parent). Offer to go with them. Offer them options if you can, but it’s important not to tell them what to do. They’re the best judge of their situation.

SUPPORT: Focus on their strengths. Support your friend in whatever way you can, even if it’s just listening. Tell your friend that you are concerned about their safety and that no matter how complicated the situation may seem, they do not deserve to be abused. It’s not their fault.

SAFETY PLAN: Help them create a safety plan, a customized plan to help keep them safe. Talk to your friend about avoiding risky situations, such as being alone with an abusive partner. Develop a code word for help so you know when to call police. Additionally, do not put your own safety at risk. Confronting an abuser can sometimes make a bad situation worse. Visit novavita.org/safety-planning for more safety planning tips.

OFFER RESOURCES: Do your research. Learn about the resources and services in your community that can help and share them with your friend when they’re ready. Contact Nova Vita’s 24hr Crisis & Support line for ways you can help. Call/text 519-752-HELP (4357) or chat online at novavita.org/chat.

MAINTAIN RESPECT: Appreciate that this is a difficult process. Let them set the pace. Be non-judgmental and respect their choices. Don’t expect them to leave a relationship when they’re not ready. Be patient.

For more information on how to support someone in an abusive relationship, visit: novavita.org/how-to-support-someone.

Learn more about the signs of abuse at novavita.org/what-is-abuse. If you have questions or need support for yourself, contact our 24-hr Crisis & Support line. Call/text 519-752-HELP (4357) or chat online at novavita.org/chat.

Teen Dating Violence Local & National Resources

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