Safety Planning

If you have experienced abuse in your relationship, developing a safety plan can be a helpful tool to increase your safety and the safety of your children. A safety plan is a personalized plan of action that can prepare you if your partner becomes violent towards you or your children, whether you are still in the relationship or you have left.

Below are some ideas that can help you to create a personalized safety plan. If you need help in creating a Safety Plan contact our 24hr Crisis & Support Line:
Call/Text: 519-752-HELP
Online Chat: Click here

If you are living with an abusive partner…

  • Create a personalized Emergency Escape Plan that lays out exactly what you would do and where you would go if your partner becomes violent.
  • Create a similar Emergency Escape Plan for Your Children and review it with them one-on-one (this can be similar to a Fire Escape Plan).
  • Create a code word with a close family member, friend, neighbour, or co-worker that will alert them you’re in danger and to call police.
  • Create a code word with your children so that they will know to call the police or go to a neighbour’s house for safety and for help.
  • Teach your children how to use the phone to call for help.
  • Create a list of phone numbers you might need in an emergency, for example 911 for police or Nova Vita’s 24hr Crisis & Support Line, 519-752-HELP (4357). Always try to have your cell phone charged.
  • Create a list of safe places you and your children could go in an emergency, for example, the home of a family member or friend or Nova Vita, 59 North Park Street in Brantford.
  • Create an Emergency Bag and store clothing, money, copies of important documents, house keys, car keys, medication, children’s toys and other essential items and keep in a safe, hidden location or at the home of a trusted family member, friend, neighbour, or coworker.
  • Keep all of your ID in your wallet or another safe place. Make copies for your emergency bag.
  • Open your own bank account at a different bank from the one your partner uses. Arrange for calls and bank statements to go to a trusted family member or friend, not to your home.
  • Save as much money as you can for emergency use – from your grocery budget if necessary.
  • Be aware of any weapons in the home, including kitchen knives. If a violent incident happens, try to stay out of rooms with weapons or rooms without exits, like the kitchen, bathroom, or garage.
  • Ask neighbours if your children can go to their home in case of an emergency. Ask trusted neighbours to call police if they hear fighting or screaming.

If you are living apart from an abusive ex-partner…

  • If you can afford it, change the locks, install a peephole in the door, put in a security system, or install outdoor lighting systems. Make sure smoke detectors are in place and working.
  • If you have a restraining order, keep it with you at all times. Make sure to give copies of the restraining order to your school, daycare, work, or place of worship and ask them to call the police if your partner shows up.
  • If you have a custody/access court order for your children, keep it with you at all times. Make sure to give copies to your children’s school or daycare provider and let them know who has permission to pick up your children
  • Tell someone you trust at work about your situation and ask for incoming calls to be screened. Speak to your employer about your situation to develop a safety plan at work. Employers are legally obligated to support you if you are experiencing violence or harassment in the workplace: makeitourbusiness.ca.
  • Try to avoid places that your ex-partner is likely to go, for example stores they shop at, banks they use, places of worship they go, bars or clubs they frequent, etc.
  • Ask trusted neighbours to call the police if they see your ex-partner near your home or in the neighbourhood.

Safety Online/Technology:

  • Change passwords to online accounts, for example email, banking, social media, etc.
  • Consider changing your phone number and email address.
  • When sending sensitive emails or visiting websites such as this one, use a public computer if possible, for example, at a public library, school or internet café. Or, use a computer at the home of a trusted family member or friend.
  • Keep a record of any emails, text messages, and voicemails left by the ex-partner.
  • Have your computer and cell phone checked for GPS tracking apps and spyware.
  • Do not post any identifying information on social media platforms.
  • Report any threatening behaviour to the support team of the website, so the individual can be blocked or removed from the site.
  • Remember information posted on the internet can still be accessible even after you delete it.
  • There are many cell phone applications that can be used to enhance your safety – for example, Circle of 6, an app that allows you to connect with six individuals of your choice when you feel you are in an unsafe situation. The six will be notified via text message of your location, or you can choose to alert them by phone.

For more information about how you can stay safe online or when using technology, visit techsafety.ca.

For more information on safety planning, resources in the community, and legal tips, download the Refrigerator Door Handbook.